JokerPace...'all up n Yo Bloggin Face'

Rambling Humorous Thoughts (1)

2012-01-09T11:04:00.000-08:00

1. All of you Cologne and Perfume 'chokers' out there, please ease off on the amount that your throwing on your person every day...your only making the global warming crisis worse

2. This goes out to the fellas, Corn-rolls and Mohawk haircuts are officially outdated...2 years ago

3. the GOP is having a devil of a time finding the best Republican candidate that will eventually lose to President Obama in the '12 Nov. Election

4. NPR (National Public Radio) has the best collection of Eclectic Journalist names in the entire radio genre, here are a few names that will get your mind spinning with curiosity...Nina Totenberg, Kai Ryssdal, Lakshmi Singh, Steve Inskeep, Corey Flintoff...[it won't hit you right away but think about the names, repeat them to yourself a few times and then you'll start thinking "WTF"!]
if I was a NPR reporter, I would change my name to LLEDROC ECAP, just so I could fit in and feel unusually important!

'Random Thoughts' to be continued...soon

Mayan Calendar forgot about the Los Angeles Clippers

2012-01-09T10:49:00.000-08:00

The World is coming to an end on December 21st, 2012 but I think that's totally unfair and uncalled for because the Los Angeles Clippers are finally becoming a relevant franchise in the NBA and for the entire Clipper Nation fan base to be deprived of seeing their beloved 'Clips' win a World Championship is a tad bit disheartening. The Mayan calendar has predicted such, with human life so-called ending forever at the close of '12, but I'm going to stay in the moment and choose not to believe such hogwash and buffoonery; instead I'm going to put on my blue and red foam-finger and boxer shorts and head to downtown Los Angeles and meet the Clippers #1 fan 'Clipper Darrell' and we're going to root hard and long for the most beleaguered team in U.S. professional sports history
This NBA shortened season should have a lot of drama and suspense all the way through the playoffs and it looks like for the first time ever the Clippers will be a major player in deciding who will come out of the western conference and compete for the NBA Championship. They signed arguably the best point guard in the league this offseason, Chris Paul, they also signed Caron Butler and Chauncey Billups-for experience and depth-and they kept their own important free agents from leaving and signing with other teams. Despite what Laker fans are saying and refusing to come to terms with, the city of Los Angeles is slowly becoming a Clipper Town; its been a total Laker Town for the last 30 years for obvious reasons but starting last year and now filtrating through this NBA season ('11-'12), you can start the see where the City of Angels basketball fan loyalty will be 1-half Laker and other half Clippers very very soon. The momentum is already in full swing and all the Clippers have to do is continue to win on a consistent basis and the 50/50 fan split is as good as determined (they don't necessarily have to win a championship right away but if there a top 4 seed in the playoffs the next couple of seasons that's just as good). Every Laker fan I talk to is in denial about this process but if you look at the reality of the situation, this was bound to happen after the Clippers got lucky and drafted Blake Griffin and he went on to have one of the more spectacular rookie seasons since his 'Airness' came in to the league in 1984. I'm not part of the Mayan genealogy and I'm definitely no Nostradamus but I happen to be pretty good at making predictions and year ago I wrote a post at the Foxsports blog page, before any other blogger or basketball expert, that Los Angeles would soon be taking over by the 'play and swagger' of B.Griffin and how that would start the process of ushering out the Kobe 'bean' Bryant era. Below I re-posted the exact same blog, read it again or read it for the first time and let me know your thoughts....As I drive up the Pacific Coast Highway I can see the Blue/Red Tide slowly smothering the Purple/Gold tide with little resistance, its as if the Laker wave didn't see it coming
_____________________________________________________________________________________
RE-POST from Jan.21st, 2011

I can’t believe I’m writing this but Los Angeles Clipper's BLAKE ‘BEASTLY’ GRIFFIN is the new King of L.A; OK, not yet, Kobe is still the ‘man’ and the Lakers by way of owning 16 championships and having 1 of the best owners in NBA history continues to rule but this time next year the title of ‘cities best b-ball player’ will undoubtedly go to Blake Griffin (barring injury) which means the’ black mamba’ will take a backseat to the talents of Mr.Griffin

What can you say about the raw talents of the Beast, I’ve been following Griff since his senior year at the University of Oklahoma, where he was dominant and national player of the year, but I must admit he’s even passed my expectations as his first full NBA season is only 3 months old; what else could he accomplish for the 2nd half of the season? Well let me answer that, he could improve his overall defensive presence, his jump shot needs tweaking and he needs to shoot a better free-throw percentage, besides that he should continue to be a dominant player till the end of the year. His numerous-thunderous Dunks alone are worth tuning in to see, he’s poster-ized so many veteran players that NBA.com has a top 10 dunk list dedicated to the Beast, I’m sure that has never been done before and recent memory reminds me we had a healthy amount of Showtime Dunkers in this league but there’s something about the way Griff is dunking that makes you say “I’m witnessing something special”

(Blake's crotch has been On or Smashed up against so many opposing players faces that his dunks should get a NC-17 rating)!!!!

I’m not here to bash on Kobe, he’s had a nice run and will go down as one of the best to ever play (although he won’t overtake Jordan as the best ever, he’ll be a notch below him and Magic-Bird as well) but the injuries and wear & tear of 15 years in the league (regular season and playoff games) is finally taking a toll on Kobe and you can see, finally, that Kobe is slipping and will only continue to slip as the next few years go by. I expect Kobe to finish out this year near the high level he’s played at over the last 5 years but it will be fitting at this years All-Star game (in Los Angeles for the 2nd time n six years) for the official-unofficial City of Angels torch to be passed from one Kobe ‘Bean’ Bryant to the star in waiting Blake ‘Beastly’ Griffin

This is how compelling and awe-inspiring Blake the Beast has been this season, since he announced his participation in this years All-Star Game Dunk Contest I’m actually eagerly anticipating the event and I’m not the only one, I’ve heard and read plenty of die-hard as well as casual basketball fans say they will be tuning in to see what Griff pulls off in the contest, he will be a welcome addition to the festivities considering the contest itself has been dreadful and non-watch able for a decade or so

It will be a hard pill to swallow for most Kobe fans but the inevitable is surely to happen, I thought the title of City’s Best would eventually come from a younger Laker player but that simply is not the case (Andrew Bynum was the best candidate but he’s to injury prone). The Clippers were blessed, for the 7th time in 15 years, with the #1 lottery draft pick-two years ago-and when the consensus number one player fell in their laps I’m sure they couldn’t even predict the success and ‘draw’ Blake is having on the league right now. The Clippers are still playing under .500 but that can change as the 2nd half of the season kicks off and the man in the middle of it all will be the Power Forward with smooth-mean-humble Energy of Steel …Blake isn’t doing it alone either, he’s warmly complimented on the court by Eric Gordon, Baron Davis and the surprising productive DeAndre Jordan…its crazy to think that the Clippers could ever rival the Lakers in Tinsel Town but if the Clippers can string together a few seasons of playoff berths I wouldn’t be surprised, I’m live in this town and I can see the Clipper Nation growing by the day and we’re still 4 weeks away from the All-Star break. Blake ‘Beastly’ Griffin can’t stop and won’t stop! I’m looking forward to seeing this guy grow into being the best player in the entire NBA

the Month of August is very Lonely

2011-08-24T16:09:00.000-07:00

The month of August is the only month on the U.S. calendar that doesn’t have a major holiday…lets change that right now…I want you guys to write back in the comment section with suggestions on what we can celebrate, as a nation, for the month of August, every year…I’ll start it off with my own short suggestion list:

1. Black Astronaut Day (dedicated to the handful of minority Astronauts that have went into space but more importantly to the thousands of kids who dreamed of being astronauts growing up but ended up robbing strangers at gun point and forever criminalized in the justice system)

2. Toe Nail Clipper Day (dedicated to the very first person to find a toe nail clipping, that wasn’t theirs, in the bathroom sink)

3. Pick your Booger Day (dedicated to the very first guy or gal to pick their booger and eat it)

if you have one, leave it below and pass this blog posting along to others who might have a suggestion

Joker Pace at The Ice House Comedy Club

2011-07-30T09:32:00.000-07:00

my most recent Stand Up Comedy Set...peep it!

This Just In....breaking Bin Laden news

2011-05-20T14:28:00.000-07:00

As reported when first released, the Navy Seals were the culprits behind the assassination of OSAMA BIN LADEN but this news-break has a new finding; come to find out the Seals were not responsible for the killing of OBL, it was the work of 1 man and 1 man alone

THE WORLD'S MOST INTERESTING MAN...the DOS EQUIS BEER SPOKESMAN took out and murdered Osama Bin Laden. President Obama or his administration could not be reached for a response on this breaking news but when reporters tracked down the Most Interesting Man, who was in Colombia, South America sipping on a platinum mocha latte with the Dalai Lama, he made this statement:
"Stay Thirsty Bin Laden, Stay Thirsty my evil friend"!!!

ATM....AuToMated Reality

2011-03-20T18:12:00.000-07:00

If for some odd reason your in search for a few moments of depression and you can't think of anything, go to your ATM and withdraw some cash. Depending on where you are financially this might not be the case but for most of the people I know--this ATM activity can really sour your spirits and act as a 'downer' for a person that may be looking to keep their motor revving high and strong

There's really no way around not visiting the ATM; you can do all your business online or go inside to a teller, but still, you're going to be in position to look at your remaining balance on your accounts and that can make most of us sick to our stomachs

There is a quick-intense moment of REALITY that smacks you in the face when you're standing at the ATM and those digitized #'s on the screen are glaring back at you and you see that big ole $28.16. And you say to yourself "Really?! is that all i got in my account? 28 dollars and 16 cents!...I'm a grown ass man and all i got is a got damn twenty eight dollars and sixteen cents--matter of fact I'm about to take out 20 dollars so all I really have is 8 dollars and 16 cents and I have to stretch this till next Tuesday...Come On Man!" (a fake tear drops down my cheek as disgruntled impatient customers continue to line up behind me waiting to use the ATM)

REALITY is a Bitch and it bites....hard!

...in addition I don't appreciate people that leave their ATM transaction receipts behind without throwing them away or taking it wit them...to me that's showing off..."Hey buddy, yeah you with the to-tight Ed Hardy dragon t-shirt, you wanna take this $188.00 checking account receipt with you, you requested it during your transaction, no showing off here, this here is the broke ATM, for entertainers, weed smokers and laid off-collecting unemployment folk, your kind is not wanted here!"

Super Bowl Party-Etiquette Tips (II)

2011-02-01T16:18:00.000-08:00

I posted this blog for the first time during last years Super Bowl (’10 Colts vs. Saints) and since then it has served as a teaching tool for those who are new or ignorant to the value of a real party-goer attending a Super Bowl Party. I thought I would re-post it with a few minor changes to keep events current:

Hey! If you're going to a Super Bowl party this Sunday and you know nothing to very little about the professional sport of football, do us all a favor and be very-very quiet and go hang in the kitchen with the ladies, the annoying dog/sleepy cat and the random guy who’s constantly checking his iPhone that nobody knows or how he got invited; and if you have some extra time on your hands go upstairs and keep the little kids entertained with your goofy ‘Lady Ga-Ga’ impression while simultaneously updating your Facebook and Twitter accounts with pissed off status updates that explain how u ‘Hate being at Super Bowl Parties’

Basically what I'm saying is "SHUT THE **CK UP"! Shut up and don't say a word until halftime and even at that point, you want to keep your non-football talk simple and easy. "Hey, how u feeling? Is your team winning?" [response] "Yes...now please shut your Pie Hole!" That the should be the extent of a conversation that involves a hardcore NFL fan and a somewhat casual party-goer that just happens to be at the party cause he felt compelled to be doing something everybody else is doing

No real NFL/Super Bowl fan wants to be zoned in on the 1st qtr of the game while answering questions from a sports novice about which player is who ("is that Ben Romoburger wearing #7?”) or (“how many points does one touchdown make?”) Especially when your favorite team is marching toward the red zone, getting ready to score their first touchdown of the game. You as the fan want complete focus from all who’s surrounding you and if there’s any conversation, it’s about what play will your team call on 3rdand goal

The real tip here is if you are a hardcore NFL fan and you truly want to focus on the game stay home, invite 2 or 3 (no more than that) of your truest football friends over--light up the ole 64-inch Flat Screen TV and watch the Super Bowl in NFL Bliss. This way you can focus, drink and yell at the screen without some 'American Idol loving' Douche-bag looking at you all crazy and telling you to "pipe it down a bit dude, its just a game, its no big deal". That type of guy will be littered all over super bowl parties this Sunday from California to Maine and sometimes they will travel in packs to S.B. parties; these type of people should be eliminated from all sporting activities/viewings, period!

This is more than just a game, this is the final and biggest game of the season for the NFL and we Americans are celebrating like we're entitled to each and every year and that's wit National Holiday reverence. After the Super Bowl all NFL fans will go into a hibernation detox withdrawal that's not a pretty sight to see; believe me, I'm n the early stages of it right now--I'm sweating like a pig 24 hours a day, sleeping only 3 hours at night and I"m losing weight rapidly...somebody please mail me a 12 pack of BLUE MOON, couple boxes of BACON WRAPPED HOT DOGS and a number 1 fan foam finger so I can start my recovery…with a NFL Lockout looming in the near future I will also need a couple of Kegs, a couple of Miami Dolphin Cheerleaders and some of that California-Snoop Doggy Dogg ‘sticky-icky icky’ to get through the offseason, if u know what I mean?!!!

Mimi Page/ Shotgun Radio UCLA Radio Interview (Part1)

2010-12-12T12:36:00.000-08:00

Craigslist 'Casual Encounters' Reading

2010-11-19T09:36:00.000-08:00

Southwest Airlines Commercial Parody 1 09

2010-11-19T09:34:00.000-08:00

THE REAL BABY WHISPERER--Reality TV pilot

2010-11-19T09:33:00.000-08:00

Cordell 'Joker' Pace Stand-Up Comedy...IceHouse Comedy Club

2010-11-19T09:32:00.000-08:00

N.F.L....National Flag Football Loser

2010-11-14T18:59:00.001-08:00

I was recently invited to participate in a 'pick up' flag football and I immediately refused but after some careful but poignant prodding by my homies, I was persuaded to join a early Saturday morning game at the local park

Playing both defensive back and wide receiver through out the entire 2 hour game was rough, considering I hadn't played any sort of football related game in 10 or more years, but after starting off slow, physically, i rounded into shape at the 34 minute mark and preceded to lead my team to a narrow hard fought victory

I left the field thinking, " i can do this every wknd...I forgot how much fun flag football can be, its challenging but not to hard on the body cause you're not really tackling any body", the homies and i went to the local bar across the street and had a few adult beverages and bragged about how good of a team we could be if we played every week and at the end of the night we made a vow that we would join an organized flag football league come Fall season and really show the world how good we were. The rest of the night and even in my dreams I couldn't help but think how much of a grand time I was going to have with my new found hobby

The next morning I woke up ready to prepare oneself for work but something happen, my brain awoke on time but when it gave the rise and shine signal to my bodily limbs nothing happen. Well I won't say nothing happen cause that would mean I was paralyzed, I did move my limbs but it was at such a slow pace that a turtle could of out ran me. The previous days flag football game took a toll on me hardcore, those 2 precious hours of running up and down that park field made such an impression on my body that it took me 30 minutes to get out of the bed. It took another 30 minutes to get to the bathroom, 5 minutes to align myself in front of the toilet and 1 shameful-embarassing-gut wrenching request of my roommate; he had to help pull my shorts down to my ankles (i felt like a 1st grader) so i could relinquish that urgent-sometime annoying AM urination

It took me a grand total of 5 days to fully recover from that harmless game of flag football and judging from the non-phone calls i didn't receive from my homies, its safe to say they were going thru the same thing. The discussions and plans to re-invent ourselves into amateur flag football players came to a screeching halt. I'm sure the flag leagues don't tolerate crying from their players and believe me that's all i did the first 3 days I was recovering...yeah its time for me to switch to a sporting hobby that's more subtle and humble, like Pool-Chess-Badminton or maybe Bingo, I'm sure if I get good enuff at the bingo genre i can then take out an unsuspecting senior citizen. Hold up, let me think about that before I totally commit, some of these elderly folk have been known to a knock a mother@*#ker out over a B-2 or 0-68....

FALL is quickly approaching the City of Angels

2010-09-08T19:19:00.000-07:00

I can feel Mother Nature changing from Summer Sun to the cool-cool 65 degree Fall weather temp (Los Angelenos everywhere are grabbing their Parkas)

There's no bigger sign of Fall approaching in L.A. then the calm some what annoying sight of elderly Asian women feeding Pigeons and then seeing that same Pigeon stroll over and 'pay it forward' by feeding a half-conscious homeless person...ahhhhhh!

Cleveland, Ohio is Still my kind of Town

2010-07-09T17:59:00.000-07:00

Speaking as a homer Cleveland Cavalier fan that I am (I was born and raised in Cleveland although I now reside on the west coast) I say good-riddance to LeBron James and all that comes with his status and brand. LBJ chose to leave the city that Rocks and Rolls and head to perceived greener pastures in Miami, Florida. He will play with the best individual player in the league Dwayne Wade (although Wade has yet to win a MVP award like James, and is commonly referred to as the 3rd best in the league behind LBJ and the Black Mamba, he does have 1 skill that trumps the ‘King’ and that skill is being able to ‘close out’ games when the game and pressure is at its highest and most critical…Lebron has yet to master that skill consistently, especially come playoff time), he’ll also be playing with the great 'unknown' in Chris Bosh. We know he was very good in Toronto where he had no high expectations but can Bosh do it in South Beach when the lights and responsibility will be greater? Don’t know yet but good money says bet on C.Bosh deferring to the latter 2 come crunch time, he doesn’t strike me as a player that knows how to perform n ‘big’ games. I could be wrong but that’s my gut feeling

My town, my city suffers another gut wrenching loss in the world of sports, this time off the field/court but nevertheless it stings like a Michael Jordan jump shot or a John Elway touchdown pass. It’s safe to say it will be years-maybe decades before the city and Cavalier team recovers from this expected-unexpected departure by the Ohio Prodigal Son. Lebron and his family/friends will be lucky if they’ll be able to drive through Northeast Ohio and fill up his gas tank without getting shanked or shot at any time in the near future, hopefully it never comes to that but I can tell you this he and his enormous Nike Brand Ego will never sell a sneaker in that part of Ohio ever again…but I’m sure he knows that already, he’s a smart guy, right? He saw all this coming, right? Well I digress…..

So here’s the end of my open letter to my favorite city in the world, keep your head up and keep it moving and proving Cleveland, we’ll bounce back and we’ll be better for it. We're a hard working blue collar town with a ton of integrity and not a lot of glitz and glamour and I'm very proud of that reputation. I know you’ve heard this tired as pep speech before but it’s a reality when you’re a Cleveland sports fan…’Hope for the Best but Prepare for the Worst’…at some point all of this losing and disappointment will end and we’ll celebrate with a championship parade in downtown Cleveland. Let’s hope it happens before the next millennium, I’m tired of waiting plus I’m starting to get gray hair in my nose and pubic region…
……by the way if the Browns and/or Indians want to chime in on this discussion and try to win a championship in the next half century that would go a long way in easing some of this Cavaliered pain and anxiety

p.s.
Dan Gilbert, owner of the Cleveland Cavalier, I loved the DISS press release you wrote to Lebron James….it was self-centered-selfish-and very bias….exactly how a letter of that magnitude should come across. You stuck up for the city of Cleveland and its loyal fan-base and even though you came off looking just as classless as Lebron, he had the nerve and naivety to have a prime-time special announcing his decision-really?-I thought he might have been making an announcement about finding a cure for cancer, you were in the moment and you did what any jilted lover would do, you snapped back without thinking everything through, Dan you might regret what you wrote at some point down the road but as of right now, it all seems like justified karma.
It comes down to this when Lebron decided he was leaving the Cavs he should have walked in to Gilbert's office, looked him n the eye and expressed himself, shake hands and depart peacefully with a heavy heart; that's how a Man handles his biz, instead he ignored the owners repeated phone calls and the Cavalier organization found out when the rest of the world found out...that shiznit ain't cool!
Mr. Gilbert your statement to LBJ was a fun read and I don’t have a problem backing you and every single word you wrote. See u next NBA season boss-dawg, I would advise you to invest in a Shrink or some type of therapy; the next few seasons are going to be brutal! I will Ride and Live for C-Land until the wheels fall off or at least until the River burns up again!

Spring/Summer has arrived on the West Coast

2010-05-20T09:06:00.000-07:00

One can tell Spring/Summer has definitely arrived in Los Angeles...the Homeless are now wearing Tank Tops, shortie Shorts and their seasonal dirty Thong!

all TASERS considered

2010-05-09T17:53:00.000-07:00

There was an incident at Bank One Ball-Park last week (home of MLB's Philadelphia Phillies)where a over enthusiastic fan ran onto the field, towards the end of the game, and before he was subdued(that's describing it lightly) by stadium security he got a chance to run around the outfield for 15 seconds and gain the recognition of the players, fans and TV cameras.

Now how this fan was contained and captured has become a hot topic all over this country and I'm here to lay down the law, so to speak (pun intended)

The fan was Tasered by a Phillies stadium security guard and was whisked away and booked for jail. Now in the aftermath of all this there has been a percentage of patrons who believe this was excessive and not plausible for apprehension (to the credit of most Americans in this country they stood behind the action and thought it was justified)and that's where I have issue. How can any one think this Tasering was to forceful, considering all the dangerous acts through the years that has be-failed unsuspecting athletes/coaches who were doing their sports job when either they were stabbed in the back or punched in the face...etc, etc.

They need to make security Tasering mandatory at all professional sporting events in this country (in Europe Tasering is considered a light retaliation compared to Dog bites and Club-Stick bashing that goes on more frequently by stadium police)that's the only way you can curb the ignorant and rampant act of 'fan-field dash & run' that goes on year around at most MLB-NFL-USTA sporting contest

Matter of fact they should take it one step further and go in the stands and taser the hell out of drunk azz fans that start fights and disrupt the viewing of a hard paying fan who has his wife and kids with him and wants to enjoy the game in peace. Taser these guys relentlessly and maybe after a year of seeing hard-headed fans get caught-electrocuted and jailed other dumb-ass wanna-be's will change their opinion about causing trouble.

That's how I would run the law, can't u see the crime rate dropping significantly in this nation if JokerPace was Chief Supervisor of National Security? Say it with me, HELL YEAH! I'm officially allowing Tasering of drunk guys at bars, rude people at the bank, old people who take to long to pay for their groceries, the drunk girls who throw up outside of clubs, people who smoke cigarettes and throw the bud on the street, hot chick at restaurant who looks so good your making it hard for the married guy to concentrate on his wife......

Now all I have to do is find a way to stop all these crazy ass criminals from initiating high-speed car chases with police officers and endangering lives of innocent bystanders. How about a shoot first ask the guy to pull-over second mandate? I like that...what do u think?

the Obama Effect trickles up and down

2010-04-13T01:33:00.000-07:00

I can only call it like it see it, the 44th President of the United States, Barack Obama, has made an impact on racial relations in this country. Now he's not the only one and I'm well aware there was mutual understanding of cultures between people of different ethnic backgrounds well before Obama decided to run for office. But this new wave of mixed-racial friendship is outstanding.

Here's a good example of it:

The other morning (5:30am) I was stopped at a light on a busy downtown L.A. street. My SUV along with a car next to me were the only cars on the street. I looked over and I saw a Asian guy driving and seated next to him was a Mexican gentleman. And it was a pretty long light so I had a chance to observe these guys and what I witnessed briefly was a happy exchange between 2 people that might not have happened a few years ago (especially out here in a still somewhat segregated Los Angeles)....now granted the Asian guys was giving the Mexican a 'hand job', stroking and jacking the guy's penis off but that's a minor technicality in the grander scheme of a proud moment of Racial Tolerance

Can't we all get along? Of course we can as long as sex is involved!!!

Allen Iversons 'Crying' press conference (Transcript)

2010-02-05T16:13:00.000-08:00

[We take you 'live' to a Philadelphia 76ers press conference]

76ers GM ED Stefanski: "Thank you for coming out this afternoon, it's a very special day for the 76er organization...we're proud to re-introduce Allen Iverson back to the organization....Allen"

[A.I. slides up to the microphone, seated at a table, with a huge NBA 76er logo banner behind him]

ALLEN IVERSON: "Crying...Crying...Crying...is that what we're talking about?....Crying! How silly is that?...we talking bout Crying...not joy, not happiness but crying...how the hell am I going to make my teammates better by crying, huh? I'm suppose to be the franchise player adn we talking about crying.....not joy-love-happiness but crying...not a game, not practice but CRYING

[A.I. starts gradually crying]

....It could be just one tear i drop all year and we focusing on my Crying......WHAT R WE TALKING BOUT MAN, WE TALKING BOUT CRYING!......

[A.I. starts all out balling crying, uncontrollably]

..... all i want to do is play basketball, that's what i was born to do....I'm one of the hardest-dedicated players n the NBA and we talking Crying....you guys can't do that, its not fair, its CRYING, that's all....its CRYING...."

[A.I. stops crying abruptly, wipe tears quickly, and with deadpan says "Next Question"]

the end

Super Bowl Party Etiquette Tips

2010-02-05T15:23:00.000-08:00

Hey! If you're going to a Super Bowl party this Sunday and you know nothing to very little about the professional sport of football, do us all a favor and be very very quiet and go hang in the kitchen with the ladies, the annoying dog and the owner of the house your partying at who's simultaneously trying to figure out who clogged up the basement toilet while also door buzzing some body in through the front bldg gate

Basically what I'm saying is "SHUT THE **CK UP"! Shut up and don't say a word until halftime and even at that point, you want to keep your non-football talk simple and easy. "Hey, how u feeling? Is your team winning" [response] "Yes...bye" That the should be the extent of a conversation that involves a hardcore NFL fan and a somewhat casual party-goer that just happens to be at the party cause he felt compelled to be doing something everybody else is doing

No real NFL/Super Bowl fan wants to be zoned in on the 1st qtr of the game while answering questions from a sports novice about which player is who ("is that Clayton Manning wearing #12"?) and how many points does one touchdown constitute when Peyton Manning is n position to drive his Colts into the red zone and possibly score the first touchdown of the game

The real tip here is if you are a hardcore NFL fan and you truly want to focus on the game stay home, invite 2 or 3 (no more than that) of your truest football friends over--light up the ole Wide-Flat Screen TV and watch the Super Bowl in NFL Bliss. This way you can focus, drink and yell at the screen without some 'American Idol lovin' Dooch-bag looking at you all crazy and telling you to "pipe it down a bit, its just a game, its no big deal". That type of guy will be littered all over super bowl parties this Sunday from California to Maine and sometimes they will travel in packs to S.B. parties; these type of people should be eliminated from all sporting activities/viewings, period!

This is more than just a game, this is the final and biggest game of the season for the NFL and we Americans are celebrating like we're entitled to each and every year and that's wit National Holiday reverence. After the Super Bowl all NFL fans will go into a hibernation detox withdrawal that's not a pretty sight to see; believe me, I'm n the early stages of it right now--I'm sweating like a pig 24 hours a day, sleeping only 3 hours at night and I"m losing weight rapidly...somebody please mail me a 6 pack of PBR, couple boxes of Bratwurst and a number 1 fan foam finger so I can start my recovery

I'm already looking forward to the April 24th Draft

Maxwell...the new King of R&B

2010-02-05T09:17:00.000-08:00

If the rhythm and blues/soul genre of music was looking for a successor for Marvin Gaye and the likes of Teddy Pendegrass I think he's been resurrected and he's staking his claim, again, as the 'man'

During the entire 2nd half of 2009 singer-songwriter MAXWELL toured the country and re-established what had been missing in the music-performance game...'Grown Man Sensual-ness' Ladies from the very young to very old was captured by his essence

I had a chance to see the brother perform at the Hollywood Bowl this past summer (my date for the night was the Doctor-Ms. Darnise Martin...a superfan of Maxwell for the last 10 years) and all I could do at the end of the night was stand up and give a roaring round of applause, he tore it down, he had every lady in the joint on the edge of their seat, he was playing 'em like a puppeteer. It was a fantastic show and I couldn't have been more impressed

Every women in the arena was 'moist' and a few even threw their panties up on stage, I even saw a guy throw his boxers on stage, not mine of course, that's how much control he had

Maxwell, welcome back, and thanks for changing the game a bit upon your re-entry (he took a 7 year hiatus from recording) I'm sure the ladies, and possibly a few of the fellas, are actively waiting for that next album

Here's Hoping Haiti's relief isn't Katrina-ized

2010-02-04T17:48:00.000-08:00

While all the support and concern has gone toward the Relief for Haiti, and rightfully so, I can't help but wonder about the Relief we Americans gathered for the victims of the Gulf Coast 5 years ago after Hurricane Katrina ripped through New Orleans and parts of Mississippi. We all collectively gathered close to 800 million dollars (telethons, red cross, internet donating sources, etc.) to go towards the rebuilding of the southeast region of United States of America and unfortunately Louisiana and Mississippi was lucky if they received a quarter of that money, I recently traveled to New Orleans (summer of '09) and there is still a lot of work that needs to be done; there are portions of the region that look like earthquake ravaged Haiti (a virtual war zone of poverty and chaos); the money came in quickly during that first year but it slowed greatly after that

Here's hoping Haiti doesn't fall victim to a financial disaster after Mother Nature treated them so cruel. They need and should receive every penny the citizens around the world is contributing and then some for the foreseeable future

So the next time someone ask you to donate to the Haiti relief fund ask yourself who's responsible for helping and aiding the victims in the Gulf who've yet to recover from their own natural disaster...and where the hell is the remainder of the 800 million dollars?! It all should have went to the Gulf Coast

AVATAR = spectacular and overrated

2010-02-03T19:26:00.000-08:00

I couldn't disagree more with people who believe this movie was Fantastic. Yes the special effects were outstanding and quite simply that's the least director James Cameron could do considering the hundreds of millions of dollars he spent on this film over the last 10 years. But with that being said the storyline is old and tiresome and it does little to keep the suspense throughout the film.

The special effects kept me interested enough not to fall asleep on this 2 hour and 40 plus minute film but the dialogue and story premise is sophomoric. About an hour and a half into the film one could tell what the final outcome was going to be, all u had to do is read between the 'bad' lines. Great effort on the special effects, they should win all type of visual arts/graphic honors during this Award season but to be nominated for best picture of the year by the Oscar committee is ludicrous; I guess when a film cost 500 million to produce (Fox Studios) and it rakes in a billion dollars at the box office voters are obligated to nominate such a film, and apart of me kind of understands that but lets be real at the end of the day this film is just an exercise in exploring the next level of computer graphic technology for the 21st century; if you want to see a film exploit the greatness of writing, story, characters and special effects re-rent the Matrix. Now that's a great flick!

CLOTHES-KILL is much to do about something

2009-09-16T19:17:00.000-07:00

Growing up in the midwest, of these United States, and going to college on the east coast for 3 years I got used to seeing a wide range of wild and domestic animals spread dead across highways, freeways and street/roads. Not a pretty site but it was the reality of the situation when you live in middle-america suburbia and the wooded areas that use to exclusively belong to mother nature is now cut up and occupied by asphalt-concrete, buildings, vehicles, litter, pollution, humans, etc...

But now I reside on the west coast, Los Angeles, CA., and since I've lived out here the roadkill epidemic that I'm use to has turned into something inanimate and to be honest quite deceiving; I call it ClothesKill and its running rapid all over the state of California

It's 2 in the morning and I'm driving home from a late night of 'kicking it' and I see up ahead a stretched out limp object in the middle of this empty street that I'm casually cruising on and of course I think what most people would think, it's shaped like some type of rodent so it must be a dead animal that unfortunately got ran over while trying to chase down its next meal crossing the street. As I get closer preparing myself to look, even though I tell myself don't look (I do this every time I approach 'something' laying in the middle of a road) I slow the mileage down as I drive around the deceased livestock but to my sullen surprise it's not a grief-stricken animal that met its demise much to early, its the bottom half of a pajama set streaked with tire tread, Damn! For the umpteenth time over the last half decade I've been fooled by the 'ClothesKill Reaper'

This only proves that I've yet to feel totally comfortable with the West Coast lifestyle, really? yes really, let me explain. In the Midwest/east coast landscape you might get an occasional clotheskill incident but for the most part objects that lay dormant in the middle of the street use to breath at some point within the previous 24 hours. But in the south&northwest region of the 'States' the calculations are much different; 75% of all items in the street use to hang, with starched pride, in somebody's closet or folded in a dresser, before it met its demise on Sunset Blvd

It's to the point where I'm convinced that there is some secret undercover late night wardrobe bandit running the main and side-streets of L.A., randomly dropping clothing material and other accessories with reckless abandon (there must also be a kid toy bandit as well because I see the occasional toddler pacifier and squeaky duck laying up against a dirty half painted side-curb) because how else would these items get misplaced in the street

When I wake up every morning and look out on the main street that crosses in front of my tenement I can see things laying in the street that when put all together tells a story in itself: Depend Diaper with doo-doo and mud-stains...ripped USC hooded sweatshirt...Ed Hardy T's...black and white 'Thriller' Jacket...Fedora...thermal underwear...Baby blanket...football mouthpiece...old breath mint...orange prison jumpsuit...'Last Dragon' movie poster...Yamaka...afro wig...jheri curl box...fluorescent panties...1 red sock...doo-rag...a ladys outfit from Neiman Marcus...zebra patterned Snuggie...Mickey Mouse themed Huggie...Shamwow...bluetooth...one tooth...kidney stone...rupaul's wig...ripped car & bicycle tires...golds gym robe...Obama '08 button...gay cowboy hat...one glitter glove...used and unused condoms...condom wrapper with no condom in it...silicone implants...lawn chair...lent...jump-rope...couch cushion...dentures...Billy Ocean cd...random cd from an artist you never heard of....costume jewelry...bathroom carpet...O.J. Simpson Buffalo Bill's t-shirt....half-eaten lowfat muffin...your finger nail and boogers...dried up blood...blood that has yet to dry...chicken bone...broken 40 oz. glass...Quizno's cup...Taco Bell wrapper...Wrigley Spearmint Gum...divided box of napkins...Honda rear view mirror...Superman cape...double D bra...skinny jeans...kids belt...grocey list post-it...receipt from McDonalds...used toilet paper...love letter from Jerry Michaels (who?)...hair patch...hair...the words 'etc., etc., etc.'...in the grand scheme of things all of this has much to do about nothing but it's still interesting!

p.s.
L.A. does have 60,000 homeless people occupying the city limits, that might explain a lot!

The Grizzly Man

2009-07-11T20:09:00.000-07:00

Sunday, June 18, 2006

One of the craziest or shall I say daring things I saw recently was a man called Tim Treadwell who chose to live amongst Grizzly Bears in the Alaskan Peninsula for 12 straight summers but during the 13th summer he and his girlfriend were killed by the same grizzlies he chose to live around

There was a documentary called GRIZZLY MAN that chronicled his journey and after watching it I don't know if I should call this man brave or stupid or both

His friends didn't think anything was wrong with him living with bears but all the experts knew that something isn't right when you're living with Bears and you think you are a bear which Tim thought he was, he thought he was actually the Bear bodyguards and protectors

There were many perplexed moments in the documentary but the one that stuck out to me was this: he would set the camera up in the middle of a Bear mating area and talk to the camera--he would give these running video commentaries--and there were many moments where a Bear would come up to him while he was talking to the camera and nudge him and Tim would turn around and defend himself by hitting the Bear on the nose and each time the Bear looked at him like he was crazy

Now there are 3 major things you Don't Do In Life...you don't hurt or kill people, you don't break the law and you don't hit Bears on the nose...turtles-okay, dogs-maybe but Bears-NOOOO! He would get so upset at the Bears that he would combat the problem by hitting them and that would be his form of discipline

Now here's the thing you can't get upset when you are clearly living in a Bears world, you are in their environment so you have to play by there rules. Now if you were to go to sleep tonight, wake up in the morning and take a shower and when you got out of the shower and a Bear was staring at you through the window then you have reason to get upset but until that happens stay the hell out of Bear-Land and hopefully we all can get along

He said it was his goal to protect the Bears, you know what I say go to any alley in any major city in America and protect the stray 'cats' and 'dogs'...they need a lot of help. The Bears can fend for themselves...

He got what he deserved and what he so desired; he died by the big paws of a Grizzly Bear who had yet retreated to hibernate, the Bear had one last meal before he left and that meal was Tim Treadwell

'Shit' on my Car

2009-07-11T20:07:00.000-07:00

March 07, 2008

Some 'one' or some 'thing' took a Shit on my car this week and I can't figure it out. I don't know why they did it; all my bills are paid up and I haven't been responsible for a 'hit and run' accident in over 2 years

Here it is...I got up early this morning, got dressed, ate, left the house, got in my car and started to drive off when I realized the ample-sized portion of Shit on the hood of my car
I pulled over, got out and analyzed the situation and realized that it wasn't Human shit (didn't smell enuff), it wasn't Dog shit (wasn't big enuff, unless of course a Chihuahua took a shit on my car and I don't think that was the case because I have a SUV and Chihuahua aren't strong enuff to jump that high, I think?) and of course I ruled out Big Foot or Gary Coleman

After careful consideration I came to the conclusion that it indeed was Cat Shit….yes a dirty little diseased infested alley Cat decided my car hood was a litter box and took a nice swirvey-curvy Shit on my hood, gangster style…Damn!

I was pissed that whole day and refused to let it go for days until a nice half Asian—half Jewish homeless gentleman informed me that Cat-Shit on the car is Good Luck. At first I thought he was 'pulling my leg' (because he was literally pulling on my right leg when he told me this) but after doing a quick Wikipedia search on my Blackberry (I gave the homeless guy $1.29 for his gift of knowledge), it turns out Good Luck-Cat Shit is one of the oldest proverbs in literary history. It reads:
'For one to receive Shit of Cat on hood of car means you have Cat Shit to clean off car hood' ……Not sure if that is good luck but I'll take it

LIfe without Cable

2009-07-11T20:00:00.000-07:00

March 08, 2008

It's been 6 weeks since I loss my cable to the powers that be at Time Warner Cable. I hadn't paid my bill in a few months so Mr. Warner himself came by my apt. and snatched the box right out of my wall and proceeded to drive off into the sunset with much attitude. How could I blame him? I would be just as pissed if the shoe was on the other foot but I hope he understands how much pain and withdrawal I went through immediately following his departure. No more ESPN, no more HBO (I never saw the last 8 episodes of the series finale of 'The Wire'), no more A&E—History Channel—Comedy Central—Bravo—Animal Planet and any other channel that had alternative programming not normally seen on the 'big' networks

It took me a while to come out of my 'no cable' coma but once I got to the other side I realized I should of did this a long time ago. I was already a productive young man but I became an even more productive person under the guise of 'no cable'. Cable is nothing but a huge distraction, its regular TV times 10 and we all know how many times we heard the motto 'TV is nothing but the Idiot Box' growing up, so if that holds true what do we call Cable Television….'the Stupid Azz Mentally Retarded Box'?….sounds good to me

All I know is this, if we got rid of cable across the board this world would be a better place to live within. Without shows like Flava of Love, Girlz Gone Wild infomercials and any original programming MTV has to offer; we would then be able to focus on humanity issues like disease control, no war=more love, building a stronger economy, feeding those who can't feed themselves…Uh-oh! I would finish this blog but I have to go, my friend is here and I'm headed over to his house to watch the Ultimate Fighting Championship Series. There's nothing like 2 guys, in an octagon ring, beating the hell out of each other, no hold barred, for 3 three minute rounds…what a rush…!!!

L.A. Marathon 2008...I completed all 26.2 Miles

2009-07-11T19:54:00.000-07:00

March 2008

"THE PRESSURE’S IS ON BUT GUESS WHO WON’T CRACK (insert your own chuckle here)…PARDON ME…I HAD TO LAUGH AT THAT"
That’s all I kept saying to myself throughout the entire 2008 L.A. Marathon; that quote from rapper Jay Z’s lyrical catalogue is the main weapon I utilized to keep from quitting halfway thru the marathon; and considering I’m a lukewarm fan of Jay Z’s music, is what made my journey that much more interesting

I should have known I was in trouble when during the pre-race course drive thru the day before; I fell asleep in the back seat of my friend’s car and totally missed the last 6 mile markers. When I woke up my friends were laughing at me and announced that "if I can’t stay awake for a marathon car ride how am I going to complete it running?" I had no answer for such a great question

The throbbing pain from the pinch nerve that was running along the out side part my right knee was so bad that I at one point I had the psychotic but hilarious image of Jesus, Buddha and Allah running in front of me. And I immediately thought to myself "if indeed they are running in front of me why aren’t they helping me and more importantly or shall I say confusingly, they seemed to all be running in sandals which is highly frowned upon in the eyes of the marathon safety committee", anyway….

All of this disillusionment started around Mile 7, up until that point I was doing quite well, pacing myself and running with pride and honor. But like the old catchphrase states "All good things must come to an end" and my end was around mile 6.2

It was becoming very clear from mile 6.2 thru to mile 8 that I was going to have a very hard time completing this marathon in the running mode because as much as my heart said "Pick up the pace Cordell", my right knee said "Negro Please". It was very demoralizing for me to have to admit to myself that I was going to have to limp my way the remainder 18 miles to the finish line. And believe me there were moments (especially miles 9-14) where I thought calling it quits would be smarter in terms of my long term physical health. At the same time I was having hallucinatory tales of farm animals laughing and teasing me, women giving birth along the course and at one point as I was approaching Mile 12 I could of swore I saw a group of people pushing the marker back as I was running towards it. But nevertheless I soldiered thru with the help of a few marathon angels

The first marathon angel came in the shape of a teenage girl who stopped after seeing me riving in pain, as all 26,000 registered runners seemingly passing me by, gave me a pair of medicated patches to put on my right knee. That helped a little bit, I continued to limp for a bit more when a 2nd angel stopped to give me a 3rd medicated patch that I promptly applied to my knee before standing up again to continue the effort. Only then did I see the ultimate angel appear out of thin air by the name of Patty from Orange County (don’t officially know her last name so I replaced it with her place of residency) she gave me inspiration and additional reasoning to want to finish this race. To be honest all she really did was just limp along with me while proving to be a soundboard for great conversation (although her initial motives were to get me to join her in quitting the race so she wouldn’t be overly embarrassed when she asked the Race Officials for a cart ride back to the finish line) Of course after a few seconds of humming and awning I told Patty "Nope, I think I have to finish". Patty understood and proceeded to finish with me
The sun became stronger as the day moved along and it clearly took its toll on runners. I saw a few people throwing up, passing out, and giving up completely. I made sure I kept myself hydrated by consuming more than enough of oranges, water, Gatorade, pretzels, bagels, gel packs and yes even more oranges. I think I’m good on eating another orange until next year’s marathon. Patty and I limped tall along our path, we passed by numerous music bands playing along the street (most consisting of a religious tone—Jesus Christ had a huge presence on the course), cheerleader teams, animals play and serious fighting with each other, people young-old & disabled all cheering for us to "Don’t Give Up"

As Patty and I continued to get to know each other my knee slowly started to feel better and with her recommendation of taking a few Motrin pills and getting my knee wrapped with an ice pack and brace at one of the many Medical tents along the course I felt like I might be able to re-start my running at some point (of course that never happened). There were some neighborhoods along the course that were so ghetto/hood-ish that if I could of ran at any point during the marathon it would have been when I was crossing those streets. I never would of thought that gang-bangers and homeless skid-row vagrants were fans of marathons but apparently they are because they all came out to stand and stare and stare and stand…they were not cheering they were just staring with a inquisitive look that said "What the fuck are these motherfuckers doing running thru my ’hood….if one of them stops to stretch or tie their shoe, I’m going to put a cap in his ass". Needless to say I limped as fast as I could as I passed through those markers

By the time Mile 19 came along Patty decided she had enough and she quit the race so she could go meet her runner buddy and head back to the O.C., I thanked her and told her how appreciative I was of her and as we left each other a new found burst of energy came over my body which catapulted me through the next 3 miles. But of course a marathon is 26.2 not 22.2 so as I re-focused on the last 4 miles my knee decided to remind me of what excruciating pain feels like and that pinched nerve swelled up once again. By this time I had company with me. A Mexican and a black guy were limping along with me, they each had various leg ailments and as much as I wanted to care about them and their life story all I could concentrate on was finishing the race and not quitting. By the time I reached mile 25 it was just me and the Mexican. Don’t know if I would consider him an angel (no body compares to Patty from Orange County) but he was a source of continued pride and honor as we both looked and limped as the sun started to go down with the course slowly being shut down behind us. At one point during mile 25 I saw a few decrepit marathoners from 2007 flayed out on the side of the road screaming in pain and yelling to us to quit now so we could join them…I immediately chalked that up as an early sign of ’Post-Race Crazy Thought Syndrome’

As we neared the 26 mile marker, joy and happiness came across my body but then I turned the corner on to Flower Street and to my surprise I had another .2 miles to go. Damn! That was the longest .2 I’ve ever endured in my life. Despite the extra footage I mustered up enough energy to ’Limp-Run’ the last few feet and I crossed the finish line with a forced smile and enough pain to fill a house. I received my medal that signifies my completion of the 2008 L.A. Marathon. I briefly hydrated myself while eating a dried up peanut butter and jelly sandwich at the post-race meal tent and then proceeded to walk towards my vehicle so I could drive home and fall into a sleep like coma….
The End

By the way, my car was parked 10 blocks from the finish line so I technically finished a 27.2 mile Marathon!

Hillary and Obama = Wonder Twin Powers

2009-07-11T19:52:00.000-07:00

April 22, 2008

Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama are beating each other up so much in this Democratic primary that whoever wins the Democratic nomination will need the other as its Vice President just to make the general election competitive

The Republican party is the Evil Empire and right now there sitting back plotting and planning and dare I say enjoying this 15 round political boxing beat-down match going on between the two democratic nominee camps. John McClain will arrive with 'gunz-a-blazing' ready to risk all to continue the reign of conservative terror on the american people and you know what "he has a very realistic shot at becoming the 44th President of these United States"

I believe Clinton and Obama will be so weakened politically by the time the Democratic convention comes around that the only logical move to make will be to hire the other as a V.P. running mate. Now I know both candidates have re-iterated that they would NOT run under the other but there saying that now; we'll see come July when all of this is essentially over and the campaigning wounds they inflicted on one another is barely healing and the only jolt of adrenaline will be the campaigning and familiarity of the other candidate. To keep up with the Republican rhetoric this Fall, the Dem Party will need the likability of Barack and the veteran Capitol Hill experience of Hillary if there to stay relevant thru the general election Nov. 4th
I've personally endorsed the joint Dem ticket of Hillary and Barack for the last year and a half through my 1-person comedy performances and I think it would be quite sexy to have a Black Man and Woman leading the country together (did somebody say 'White House Fever'). Now all we need to find is a Mexican Secretary of State (comedian George Lopez?), a Gay Secretary of Defense (Rosie O'Donnell?) and a Midget National Security Advisor (or Asian if u can't find a Little Person....Jackie Chan or Gary Coleman?) to complete the Clinton-Obama Minority Rainbow Cabinet

Okay, I'll throw in Flava Flav as the Reality Show Secretary for the Dept. of Homeland Security just to make their tenure that much more interesting

George Carlin..."The Greatest Comic of All Time"...6 words u won't hear from most people

2009-07-11T19:47:00.000-07:00

June 29th, 2008

With the Greatest Comic of All Time...George Carlin... passing away June 22nd, 2008 there is only 2 comics still standing and breathing from the greatest generation of stand-up comedy (late 50's to the early 70's), Bill Cosby and Dick Gregory. There are a few other comics from this period who are still performing and doing a good job and I mean no slight to them but Bill and Dick are the remaining performers from that time in history who had a huge impact on the stand-up genre that can still be felt today

But I wanted to take a few moments to contribute to the endless amount of blog memorials that are being posted about Mr. Carlin. He was the ultimate comic storyteller and nobody has done more to raise the 'intelligent bar' in the world of comedy like George did for the last 45 years (comedian Bill Hicks was the closest thing we had to the next Carlin but illness cut his life short in the early 90's)

Carlin made u think about yourself and the daily grind of life as well as make you laugh at things and situations u never thought had comedic flavor. He's among 2 or 3 comics that I study and look up to in my career and I strive every day to reach the levels of superior communication thru laughter that he reached. With George it wasn't always about making the audience laugh at every punchline, he was building a Tale-Story that had a beginning, middle and end....material and structure u don't hear or see from comics in the 21st century, unfortunately

What made G.C. the greatest was his ability to perform at the top of his game for most of his career..a career that lasted 45 years...no comic in the history of Stand-Up Comedy can stake claim to that resume and for that reason alone... perseverence, creative fresh material and consistency...George Carlin is the greatest comic of all time!

p.s......some would argue that the late 70's and the decade of the 80's produced the greatest comics of all time (Seinfeld, Leno, Eddie, Wright etc) and that would be a great argument but when it comes down to it they don't hold water to the likes of Cosby, Richard, Bruce, Carlin, Woody, Gregory, Foxx, etc....if u don't believe me do the research

Barack Obama...Dream Realized...More work to do

2008-07-21T14:22:00.000-07:00

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Wuz Upper President-Elect Obama,

I like most people around the world were over-joyed when you were elected the 44th President of these United States of America (matter of fact if u take the number 44 and add it together u get 8 which matches the last number in 2008 and when u divide 8 in half u get 4 which matches the date in which you were officially elected--Nov. 4th)

We are currently in a honeymoon period, waiting for the inauguration ceremony Jan. 20th 2009, but once the day changes to night and then back to day again all hell is going to break loose on your administration and we can only pray that you get through the first 6 months without pulling out all of your hair. The Bush administration has officially left you behind the perverbial 8 ball and then some as he exits the White House....George W. Bush is the Worst but I'm sure you already know that

The condition of this country is in such bad shape I wouldn't be surprised if I saw you inaugurated on Jan.20th and then the following day, Jan.21st, you resign from office under the premise of 'Potential Fiscal Insanity'......but you wouldn't do that because Great Leaders like yourself step up and face difficult challenges head on, not retreat and make excuses like so many political figures have done during the history of this country
Good Luck President Obama...as if you really need it :-)

Obama vs. McCain pt.2....the rumble for the White House Jungle

2008-06-28T10:08:00.000-07:00

Monday, September 01, 2008

Last weeks DNC in Denver, CO. was great for Democratic Presidential elect Barack Obama but when he woke up the following morning, Friday the 29th of August, and was told McCain did the unexpected and chose Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin for his V.P., I'm sure it hit Barack like a ton of hard cotton balls

Up until and through the night of August 28th it looked like Obama was poised to run away with this election but now part 2 of this White House race is about to get interesting and TIGHT to the very end. McCain wants that Hillary Clinton vote and he might get it. Palin is a hard nose, intelligent, convicted politician who will make many of the undecided voters think twice about heading over to the democratic party for a new era of CHANGE

McCain has thrown down the partisan gauntlet and has made the statement to Barack "Your not the only one who knows how to conjure up 'Change' and 'Hope' (emphasis on HOPE).
I now have a beautiful lady V.P. who can speak to the conservative liberals who are feeling wishy-washy about voting for you. All I have to do now is continue to remember her full name, what state she governs and try not to open mouth tongue kiss her after every speech she makes from here to election day "

Barack better polish up on those boxing gloves a lil more because this is might turn into a Ali vs. Frazier type boxing battle to be the 44th President of the United States of this America

Addendum posted by JokerPace on July 10th, 2009
“I couldn't have been more wrong about Sarah Palin, she's a douch-bag politician who wasn't fit to govern a pre-school...she was so inept she actually helped Obama out more by being a V.P. nominee for the Republican party. Here's hoping we never have to hear from her ever again!!!!!!”